Before I go into today’s topic, I want to address where I’ve been for the past three years, as this will be my first article in almost to three years. The short answer is I became a mom and have been quite busy taking care of my two young kids. My son is about to turn three and my daughter about to turn one. Taking care of my kids while running my business and teaching not to mention doing laundry, managing our house, etc. leaves little time left to share my expertise here. I am feeling the pull to begin posting again, so you can expect to hear from me periodically going forward.
Today I am discussing how to keep music a part of your life when the logistics of your life change. For me personally, I am now (along with my husband) responsible for two small humans. I don’t have the time or energy to be as musically involved as I once was or as much as I’d like to be. At this juncture in my life, time for myself is a luxury, not a given. Before kids, I rehearsed each week with the Rockville Concert Band, where I played first oboe. I also performed in concerts regularly and frequently attended concerts around the area at Strathmore or the Kennedy Center. Most importantly, I was able to practice piano and oboe as often as I liked.
These days, I am virtually never able to attend band rehearsals (they compete with bedtime), attending concerts is a very rare occurrence, and as for practicing, I’m sad to say that my piano has been collecting a lot of dust. I am not going to lie. It is not easy to keep it going. I am very grateful to be able to teach my students each week and share my love of music with them. I am very lucky to do work that allows me to connect with students while showing them how to play the piano.
Here are my tips for how to keep music in your life if your stage of life has changed:
#1: Do what you can/ lower your expectations
Before kids, I would be disappointed if I couldn’t practice for what I considered a good chunk of time. These days, a few minutes between changing diapers and soothing tantrums are golden. I may get literally three minutes to sit down at my piano and play. While pre-kids, I would have laughed at the insanity of trying to play for three minutes, today I will take what I can get. If I can play just a few minutes of a piece I love before getting interrupted by a child that needs me, I will take it! Those three minutes are better than nothing. If I expect to have the kind of uninterrupted time I had in the past, I will be strongly disappointed. However, when I cherish the moments I have, I feel happy and grateful.
#2: Listen to music
I’ve always loved listening to music. With my kids, we can listen to music pretty much anytime. We listen to music while riding in the car. We have music on in the background while we play at home. I really enjoy turning on different genres on music to share with them. It is so interesting to see which styles and pieces my kids gravitate towards. My son personally loves the song, “Sugar Sugar” by the Archie’s. Lol!
#3: Share music
I may not be playing much, but I do LOVE sitting down at the piano with my kids and letting them “play”. It is really fun to see their excitement as they press (or I should say hit) the keys and hear the sounds that come out. I have several instruments at home, and I really enjoy taking them out and showing them to my kids and when appropriate, letting them touch the instruments and play them. I definitely believe that if they get excited about instruments now, they will stay excited as they get older and will hopefully want to learn to play an instrument someday.
In addition to messing around on instruments, I have also enjoyed taking my kids to parent and me music classes. My favorite one is Music Together. It’s really fun to do a musical activity with my kids that is designed just for them.
I recommend singing too. I sing to the radio. I sing just for fun. I am not a trained vocalist by any means, but singing is a great way to express myself. My baby daughter will sing along as well if it’s music that she likes!
#4: Know this too shall pass and music will always be with you
While it definitely can be overwhelming right now to take care of two very young and mostly helpless children, I do recognize that they are not going to be this little forever. I know that I am going to pine for the days of them wanting to be with me all the time. When they are older I will for sure be able to go back to being more involved in actively playing music as I love to do so much. I do imagine I will be rusty when the day comes and I have more time to devote to my music. I know that music is always a part of me. Being able to play an instrument is something that I believe you will never truly forget how to do. You may not be as skilled as you once were, but with practice, the skills will come back.
Thanks so much for reading today’s article! Now I want to hear from you. Have you ever had a significant life change that impacted your ability to devote time to your music? If so, what ways did you find to keep music a part of your life? Leave a comment below and let me know. If you haven’t already, please subscribe to the newsletter and “like us” on Facebook.
Have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Cassie
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
As an oboist who’s starting a master’s program in a non-music field, though I’m not dealing with quite the time commitment of two kids, this article really hit home for me. I have a few questions though, specifically as an oboist. Do you think that with the demand of this instrument, such as the easily lost embouchure muscles and the hours of reed work necessary, it is still possible to play oboe for just a couple minutes a day and still have that be worth anything? Is the minimum amount of time/effort that the oboe requires too high to simply play the instrument maybe two or three times a week?
I’ve been playing oboe for 11 years now, and I really don’t want to have to put the instrument down to be a successful master’s student, but I also don’t want to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to do everything, then straight to bed with maybe an hour to spare beforehand reading papers or working on my thesis.